Affirmations

I do believe affirmations “work.”  They work because they are simple reminders of the truth which our higher selves are already aware. It is important, however, to use the right affirmations.  There are a lot of affirmations out there that are for money or things (such as “I am open to becoming a millionaire”).  I personally don’t think that is the way of our spirit.  When we affirm for “things” or try to “manifest” things in our lives we are working from our ego.  While those things may manifest into reality for some people, I don’t believe it is for the highest good.

When we do things from our hearts, not our egos, we are following the “right” path (as Buddhists would call it) and therefore, no matter what happens, it will be not only be for our highest good but the highest good of everyone.

So I decided to make my own affirmations, for my Pinterest board.  I actually do look at my Inspirational board from time to time when I feel I need a pick-me-up.  I want the right reminders to be in there.

If these resonate with you feel free to share or save.  I’ll be making a lot more of these so come back and take a look.  I have given up my old blog and my old Pinterest which was FeeFeeRN.  I had many followers on both but I’ve changed.  My interesst have changed.  My intention for a blog has changed.  I still love fashion and makeup and home interior design but that’s not my main focus anymore. I love them more as an artistic expression (coming more from spirit) rather than wanting my home or self to look a certain way (coming from ego).  It doesn’t matter if I have new things or not. It’s fun to look at Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest, but let’s face it, it’s mostly fake.

I started this blog to keep it real. This is me now.  I’m on my own path.  It doesn’t matter if I have “followers” or not.  I want to put my views out there, being true to myself, and see if what I have to say resonates with anyone else.

If you’re on a similar journey or have new resolutions to simplify your life this year, get rid of clutter in your home and life, want to make decisions from your heart and ignore your ego, leave a comment.  I’d love to chat with you.

May you be happy and well.  May you live your life with ease.

 

 

 

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Quora

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I’m probably a bit slow on the Quora bandwagon but I just discovered it last month.  It has been so interesting. I love reading others answers but found that it has been super fun to answer questions as well.  I have limited my answers to nursing and relationships.

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Nursing because I’ve been a nurse for 18 years.  Relationships because I’ve been married for 30 years. So I’ve qualified myself as an”expert” on both subjects.

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Here is a recent answer regarding Death and Dying because my most recent experience has been in hospice.

Question: What have you learned about death and the death process by working with the dying?

My answer is below.

Physical

  • I can tell you the body knows what to do when dying. It is perfectly natural. Going into shock is a wonderful thing for someone who is dying. It is the body’s way of taking care of us. I’ve been in shock myself twice and can tell you that it is like a twilight. You’re aware of what is happening but nothing really hurts. When I was in shock due to a bad car accident, I was seriously injured but felt no pain. I was aware of things yet not fully awake. It did not matter to me if I lived or died when I was in shock.

 

  • What we see is as “suffering” is not reflective of what the dying person feels. Although there are times someone who is dying does need something for pain or to relax, I firmly believe it is not as much physical pain they are in as it is spiritual or mental distress (We call it “terminal restlessness” and that certainly doesn’t always happen. I’ve seen numerous very peaceful deaths where the person didn’t need any medication at all). I know this because of my personal experience. When my face was full of glass, nose and lip torn and face full of blood, I didn’t have pain. I did feel like I was slightly choking on something (blood) but didn’t know what it was and tried to pull my swollen, torn lip off til passersby stopped me. It was only when my brother saw me at the hospital and I saw the look on his face that I knew it was bad because he was crying and saying “Oh my God” and “Chrissie I love you” over and over and was trying to get to me while they were examining me. I think when people have terminal restlessness, sometimes we need to just let them sort that shit out instead of drugging them. (Don’t hate on me, hospice people, I have a right to my opinion and NONE of my patients suffer due to lack of meds). We need to keep calm and not freak out because it’s not about us.

Spiritual

  • I believe that people who are stubborn and controlling by nature OR are attached to life or a particular person, people or situation that’s unresolved in their mind, OR have guilt, regret or worry are the ones who struggle more at the hour of death in the hospice setting. I can’t speak for trauma victims or anything like that. This is my personal opinion based on my observations and what I have felt as an empath.

Inserting a bit about my path to give you an idea of where I am coming from and insight to my perspective…I am a people person and an empath. I have had a really strong intuition ever since I was little and have been sensitive to what others feel my whole life. I have a way of knowing when my patients need me by the way I feel. The course of my life has led me to where I am now (just like everyone’s does). For me it started with the death of my two year old cousin when I was very young, a fascination with death and dying, strange paranormal things happening very subtly and slowly at first, my Buscia (Grandma) dying in hospice (before hospice was mainstream), becoming a nurse as a result, conducting my own private “interviews” with patients about their own spiritual and/or metaphysical near death or out of body experiences for 12 years (which has been utterly fascinating. By the way, more people than you think have had them!) then ultimately becoming a hospice nurse (for roughly 6 years now). I have since abandoned Christianity and started meditating which has changed a lot for me as well. The reason I am no longer a Christian is a direct result of hospice. I have seen people from all religions or no religion experience a lot of the same ‘spiritual’ things when dying, such as seeing and having conversations with deceased loved ones. I also have seen many wonderful, good, ethical people pass who weren’t a Christian. I have a hard time believing those people wouldn’t be accepted into ‘heaven’ by a God who will judge them based off of their belief that Jesus is God. Doesn’t make sense.

  • I have seen many unexplainable things happen as a hospice nurse. A frail elderly woman who couldn’t possibly have any strength left, on the verge of death found the strength to roll herself out of bed and crawl out of her room and down a hallway. She wasn’t awake for days but woke to say her husband was coming for her and she wasn’t ready. People who have gone without water for longer than what is humanly possible still holding onto life, etc.

 

  • The result for me is realizing that the mind is more powerful than the body. (I’ve also had this proved to me many times during my 12 years working in hospitals) What I learned and how I changed is that I now do death meditations to prepare myself for the hour of death as best as possible. I no longer work for money. I keep decreasing my salary by taking jobs that interest me rather than pursuing the one that pays the most. I practice detachment to material things. Another result meditating and my hospice nursing experience had is that I became less of a worrier and have been slowly able to let go of regret (letting go of past and future). I can see through people’s bullshit a lot easier and don’t let it bother me knowing it is their issue not mine. What I mean by that is recognizing offensiveness, defensiveness, jealousy, greed and hatred to name a few things. People don’t even know they are doing it. They are layers of the ego they haven’t yet shed. I am thankful for life and the experience but don’t take everything so seriously and am willing to let it all go. I am happier and calmer. I realize that people are all doing their best within their level of consciousness and as Ram Dass so eloquently put it…we are all just walking each other home.

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Do you have any experience with hospice? Are you on Quora yet?  If so, I hope to see you in Quoraville!

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Acne prone skin

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Hello there. I have been watching YouTube videos this evening and happen to come across some makeup tutorials for acne prone skin. 

I wanted to put my two cents out there.
Firstly, I will say that everyone is different and what worked for me may or may not work for you. I would also like to let you know that I do have some knowledge about acne and skin care not only from personal experience but because I have been a nurse for 18 years, have worked with a Dermatologist as well as Plastic Surgeons (no, I never had plastic surgery except to repair my nose from a major car accident when I was 15. It still is not repaired the way it should be because I didn’t want to go back and have any more plastic surgery). I also became wound care certified as a nurse.

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Facts:
1. Acne is not caused by wearing makeup.
2. Acne is not from being dirty or not cleaning your face properly. 
3. Acne is not (necessarily) caused by chocolate or greasy foods.
4. Applying more makeup does NOT help cover up acne. (It makes it more noticable)
5. Acne can be caused from hormones. 
6. It is a symptom of what is happening inside your body.

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What to do:
1. Eating healthy is very important.
2. Know what food sensitivities you have.
3.  Drink plenty of water.
4. Don’t over wash your face or use a harsh soap.  I recommend Cetaphil soap.  Don’t use water that is very hot.
Do not scrub your face if you are using a chemical or drug to treat acne.
5. I used prescription Differin  as well as Klaron. Klaron is a topical antibiotic which I used once a day. (Don’t use if you have an allergy to Sulfa antibiotics) My skin is also sensitive so I could only use Differin (Strong Vitamin A) 3 times per week which I did at night. If you get Differin, only use a pea sized amount.  More is not better.  Note: it is expensive and insurance might not cover it. It costs about $100.00 per tube but that lasts a super long time.
6. If you can’t get the prescriptions you can try salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide. You can spot treat if you have a few blemishes or use a thin layer on your face at night. You may have to experiment with how often to use it. Using it more may cause red or dry flaky skin. If that happens just back off.
7. Use sunscreen! You will need it even more if you are using topical anti-acne creams.
8. You still need to moisturize.  Use one that is oil free or non-comodogenic (meaning won’t cause acne).

*A note about acne healing creams: When you start to use them, your face may appear worse. Do NOT fret. Actually, that is how you know they are working. The way they work (except the antibiotic) is that they help slough off the older skin cells that are on the surface to reveal the nice new “baby” cells which are underneath. (Despite popular belief, they do not make your skin less oily). Because you may have deep acne, that will come to the surface. DON’T WORRY! In a couple of weeks your skin will be greatly improved. Don’t give up or stop using the product if it appears you have more pimples in the first couple of weeks. I know it is hard because it happened to me with Differin. Also, I had to experiment with how often because, on top of having a few more pimples, my skin was getting red and flaky. If that happens, just switch to every other day or every third day but don’t wait in between any longer than that. Hang in there. It will get better. Do not be discouraged. If you are getting these “side effects” then it is working. Trust me on this one. However, if you think you are experiencing an allergy (hives) then stop the product and see a dermatologist.

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Source with instructions here:

GET THE LOOK – Fresh Face Makeup

As for makeup:
1.  Start with a clean face and hands.
2. Moisturize with an oil free moisturizer then wait 5 minutes for it to sink in and dry.
3. Apply a thin layer of foundation by patting it in with a moistened beauty blender.  (If you have extreme redness you can use a color corrector first). Using a brush will cause tiny pieces of skin to pop up and become noticeable whereas “patting” it in smooths everything down. 
4. If you are using a good foundation you shouldn’t need concealer.
5. Press in a very fine translucent powder.  You can use a dry sponge applicator to pat it in as you did the foundation.  This will mattify your skin and keep the foundation in place. 
6. If your face gets oily throughout the day you can use blotting papers. An alternative to blotting papers is taking toilet paper and peeling it apart so it is only one layer and gently patting that over the oily areas to soak up the oil. Plain white tissue paper cut into small squares ahead of time work well also.
7. Don’t touch your face throughout the day.
8. Don’t use a magnifying mirror because it promotes picking. Besides, no one is going to be that close to examine your skin.
9. If you HAVE to extrude a pimple, use an extruder made for that purpose.  Then apply something like a toner and leave it the heck alone.  You don’t want a scar on top of everything else.  A pimple will go away a lot faster than a scar ever will.  Some scars will never go away.

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Above is an acne extruder.  I got mine from Bed, Bath and Beyond. They sell them online as well.

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(Above is just a cute natural makeup look)

There is a lot of false information out there. I hope this may help someone.  I suffered from acne myself and understand.  It is embarrassing because people can be judgmental and cruel. But guess what? Those are not people you want in your life anyway.  And being that way is THEIR problem, not ours.

Beauty truly does come from the inside.  But feeling confident is so important to our well-being.  It is hard to ignore the pictures of beautiful models with perfect (ie airbrushed) skin.  Luckily more models are showing their real selves in public and photos. Hopefully one day we can get rid of the idea of beauty being thin, perfectly proportioned face and flawless skin.

Because let’s get real…who do we know in real life who has never had a pimple? Or cellulite? Or gained a few pounds? It happens to the best of us.

The best we can do is to embrace people who do not fit that idealized version of beauty and see them for who they really are on the inside as well as appreciate their unique features on the outside.  Whether it is freckles, a crooked smile, chubby cheeks or big ears. It’s all good!

Change starts with us! And while you’re loving others, love yourself too!

Celebrities with and without makeup.  See? They look just like everybody else!

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This is the cleanser I used.

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Klaron can be worn under makeup in the morning. I used an oil free moisturizer with sunscreen on top of it. I applied a thin layer of Klaron then waited for it to dry first. Then applied moisturizer. Then waited for the mositurizer to dry before applying makeup. It only took a few minutes for each to dry.

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I used Differin at night after I washed my face with Cetaphil face soap. I made sure my face was dried thoroughly before applying a pea sized amount. Because you need so little, I applied the pea sized amount to one finger then dabbed it all around my face lightly before spreading it around with the tips of my fingers.

Do you have any other tips that have worked for you that you would like to share?

Hugs to you!
FeeFee

I have to say that I am not a doctor and cannot diagnose or prescribe anything. Please see your own doctor for professional medical advice. These are tips and tricks that have worked for me that you may ask your personal physician about. Good luck!

Book Bed DIY

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Check out this amazing sleeping bag!  How hard do you think it would be to make one of these for your kiddos? IKEA sells down blankets on the cheap.  If you can sew a straight line I am pretty sure you can do it!  IKEA down blankets.

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Photographed by Yusuke Suzuki.

WalMart sells these fabric markers that would be perfect for making a story right on the blanket:

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Here are some ideas from Pinterest on what to draw:

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Sleepover Pillowcase

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Here’s one that is a little more fancy:

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Way too cute if you ask me!  Let me know if you tried this and please send your pics!

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According to ehow:

To set Sharpie ink on fabric:

Set Sharpie onto Fabrics. Materials: iron, clean, white cotton cloth, 1/2 cup salt. Set iron to medium heat. Place design face-up. Place clean, white cloth over design to protect from scorching. Smoothly iron over cloth and entire design for 10 seconds in circular motions until design area is heated. Dry garment on regular cycle. Wait 24 hours. Wash on regular cold cycle with 1/2 cup of salt (NO DETERGENT!). Dry.

 

TFTD

Thought(s) for the day.

Work hard knowing that all good things take time.

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” –Theodore Roosevelt

“When something comes easy, you usually let it go the same way.” ― Nora Roberts.

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” –Marcus Aurelius

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First you plant the seed. Then tend to it, water it, make sure it gets the right amount of sun and nutrients.  Even as a sapling it is fragile and needs protection and looking after.  But over time it’s roots deepen and trunk strengthens. Until one day it stands as a tall and mighty tree. Our goals are the same. What we do today is paving the way for tomorrow.  Trust and have faith in yourself!

I would rather be seared with scars and come out strong than soft all my life, never trying or understanding what it’s like to fight for something I believe in. 

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May you have patience with yourself and others. Hold steadfast to your dreams and goals!

FeeFee

The Little Things

Sometimes the little things are the big things.  Do you agree?

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Here are a few little things that happened in the past few weeks that I really appreciate:

1. My husband was here for me when I recently got pretty ill and had to go to hospital. He stayed home from work to be with me. 
2. My friend said he missed me (so sweet).
3. My health has taken a turn for the better.
4. Our tulips are coming up.
5. We were able to purchase a nice gift for our son’s upcoming birthday.
6. We are having dinner and game night this weekend with our son and his partner. Can’t wait!
7. I  was gifted with a reiki session from a friend and it was super helpful.
8.  I reached 10 likes on my brand new blog. Yay!
9.  I discovered a new monk on YouTube who gives really great dharma talks.
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How to forgive without receiving an apology

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World Most Beautiful Places

World Most Beautiful Places

We have all been hurt in our lives.  No one is perfect.  We have also hurt others in our lives. I have had pain that has gone to the deepest part of my being that I thought I could never forgive.  My pain is not your pain and vice versa.  We can’t even begin to compare, nor should we, how hurt we’ve been.  It could be betrayal, the murder of a loved one, rape, war, you name it.  There are many forms of torture.  Trust me when I say I was tortured.  It affected me deeply and profoundly.  But I got to the other side of it.  I can talk about it. I can help others now who have pain.  There is truly a peace within me where there once was bitterness, sorrow, anger, resentment, sadness and despair.  It brings me great joy to tell you that you too can get to the other side!

It doesn’t mean I never think about what happened. But now, when I think about it, I remind myself that I have forgiven that person.  That person will never be a part of my life again. I have let them go forever.  That may be something you need to do as well. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean condoning anything they’ve done. You may ask, “If she truly forgave, why is that person no longer in her life?” My answer to that is simple. Having that person in my life does not bring peace to myself or others. I choose to live my life skillfully. Meaning, if there is a person, place or situation that I know will cause pain or harm to myself or others, I avoid it. That is not wrong. It is a wiser and more skillful way to live one’s life. There is something to be said about the company you keep. Plus, I happen to know that person has not changed their ways. It is not for me to change them either.

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I can tell you what worked for me. However, I have to preface this by saying something that will likely piss you off.  I don’t say it to be offensive but it is said from a place of truth. A knowledge that you are lacking, if you are seeking an answer from an outside source to bring you peace.

You will never find peace within, if you continue to look for answers about how to forgive from another person.  The reason you are seeking is because you have an ego (as ALL of us do, unless you are an enlightened being).  You have likely already dissected to death the situation which caused you pain. You, as I have, probably looked at it from every possible angle that you could imagine.  And still didn’t have any answers.  But there may be a part of you that still thinks you are right and the other person is wrong.  AND THAT MAY BE TRUE! Life isn’t fair.  People don’t treat others the way they want to be treated.  And it sucks.

 

However, once you realize there is nothing at all to DO in order to forgive, you will forgive.  I know it sounds to simple but it’s true.

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What has helped for me is meditating. Not praying to God.  Not reading self-help books. Not seeking without, but seeking within. I had to do a lot of introspective work these past two years.  It hasn’t always been easy.  I remember when I first started meditating.  I thought I would never be able to do it for more than 5 minutes.  I could not go ONE minute without my mind wandering.  Spinning, really.  My mind was like a wheel that was spun and couldn’t slow down.  But, over time, I was able to sit for 5 minutes, then 15, then 2 hours, then eventually even longer.  I think I could meditate for as long as I want to now.  I often totally lose track of time.  I have been up all night long because I lost track of time while meditating.  I have been able to reach different states of consciousness that I never in a million years thought would be possible.  And with that comes insights.  Really meaningful, life-changing insights that are for me and no one else.  I don’t really know where they come from.  I just know they come.  And they will for you too.  I don’t write this to boast but to let you know what is possible for yourself.  If there is ONE thing I recommend it is learning what meditation is and practicing it.  I cannot stress it enough.

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You need to get to know yourself.  And know that you can’t change others.  Meditating helps you do this.  At least it helped me. When you understand your human nature, your shortcomings and faults and can accept them and learn to love yourself despite them, you become far less judgmental of others. There is a saying, “Our darkness and our light need each other and we need them.” Everything in life has a purpose. We can learn to make the most of any given situation and be happy despite the bad things that happen in life. We don’t need to conquer any human being. We only need to conquer that within us that keeps us from loving ourselves. Sometimes that requires investigation into our own mind. A difficult but important lesson to learn is that when someone hurts you and you don’t forgive them, you have chosen to hurt yourself over and over again every time you remember it. Rumi said, “Why do you keep yourself in prison? The door is open.” So walk through it!

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According to this site it is also important to understand what forgiveness is NOT:

“To learn how to forgive, you must first learn what forgiveness is not. Most of us hold at least some misconceptions about forgiveness. Here are some things that forgiving someone doesn’t mean:

  • Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are pardoning or excusing the other person’s actions.
  • Forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to tell the person that he or she is forgiven.
  • Forgiveness doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any more feelings about the situation.
  • Forgiveness doesn’t mean there is nothing further to work out in the relationship or that everything is okay now.
  • Forgiveness doesn’t mean you should forget the incident ever happened.
  • Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to continue to include the person in your life.
  • … and forgiveness isn’t something you do for the other person.

By forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process—and it doesn’t necessarily have to include the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness isn’t something you do for the person who wronged you; it’s something you do for you.”

 

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Another thing that helped me is getting out in nature.

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This is me! And below this is me with my husband!

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Having someone to talk to helps a lot too.  I am so lucky to have my husband who went through the ordeal with me and understands.  HOWEVER, there is nothing that he, or anyone else, could say that could take away my pain.  It is through the meditation and introspective work that I have been able to forgive and move on.

If you want to start meditating I suggest that you try YOUTube videos.  There are some GREAT beginner guided meditations.  I’m going to post a few here that I recommend.

Bells of Mindfulness.  Short and sweet.

Daily prayer.  Nice for morning and starting off on the right foot.

Letting go of thoughts that do not serve you.  Spoken meditation.

I love Michael Sealey’s lovely voice.  This is about clearing subconscious negativity.

Yoga Nidra– this one is longer but super relaxing and you do it lying down.

Another Yoga Nidra in a man’s voice, if that is more soothing for you.

I AM meditation (not for everyone but I like it).  I find it very soothing and grounding.

Easy 2 minute meditation.

46 minutes.  Really relaxing.  I love this Jack Kornfield meditation.

Just the sound of the sea.  Waves crashing on the shore.

This is just the sound and video of a beautiful crackling fire.

Just wind chimes

I think that should get you started! I have a ton more in my playlist so if you want more let me know!

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Shamanic drumming can be very powerful in achieving transendental states of consciousness.  It is not for beginners but I post it here for those that have been meditating for a while and understand how to protect themselves prior to doing these kinds of meditations.

Shamanic Drumming. Very powerful.  Ground and protect yourself first.

More Shamanic Drumming.  I have entered deep meditation states with this.

How to ask for protection: Click here.

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If you feel you want practical tips, this article from Dr. Wayne Dyer has 15 steps you can follow.  I suggest that you work on each one for as long as it takes before moving on to the next one.  Or re-visiting the ones you get hung up on.  Click here for the step by step article.

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Remember, it does get easier with time.  So be patient with yourself.  Keep loving yourself. Be kind to yourself.

QHHT

I wish you happiness, patience in your practice and in yourself, peace and every success!

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